Monday, 23 September 2013

Hell’s Kitchen (in MY office building!)

WARNING: Gratuitous RANT alert!

The office building I work in is Open Plan.  There are no doors between the desk areas, stairwells, the kitchen or the breakout area. 

While the whole place is light and airy and there is a real feeling of space and working togetherness I have to say that the kitchen where I work really IS hell on earth….  I have the misfortune to sit near it, and the adjacent “breakout area”.  This means I also have the misfortune to hear, see and SMELL everything that goes on in it.

  • There is the slightly damp, detergenty smell when the dishwasher gets opened.
  • There’s the crusted-on, baked on, can-only-be-removed-by-a-nuclear-holocaust food stuck to the inside of the microwave.  Probably caused by the man who has soup every single day for lunch and puts it in the microwave and microwaves it until the pressure builds up and the lid blows off and the microwave is COVERED in soup.  (ie. FAR too long!) It’s only a matter of time before the poor microwave itself explodes and we all get showered with Pea and Ham soup and bits of microwave.
  • There’s the lake of  spilled water, milk and who knows what else on the worktop every morning before 7am.  Without. Fail.  It’s not like we don’t have a GIANT roll of kitchen paper – like they do at petrol stations people!!!!! CLEAN IT UP!
  • There’s the sponge that is most probably a biohazard – I picked it up the other day and my hand smelled of mildew and rotting sponge even after repeated washing and applications of Bee Lovely Hand Cream. 
  • There’s the Klix machine that sounds like it’s trying to escape when its being refilled and it churns out warm wet liquid that might be coffee or it might be tomato soup; whichever button you press seems to give the same result.
  • There are THREE fridges.  Every single one smells.  People keep whole carrier bags full of food in them.  Things are left to rot in them, and heaven help us all if someone’s milk carton leaks!
  • After 3 blockages and some very expensive plumbing work there is now a sign gently reminding people not to put coffee grounds down the sink.  What kind of intelligent person puts coffee grounds down the sink anyway???
  • There is the THEFT!  It’s rife…. You would not think that this is an office kitchen frequented by Engineering Professionals who all take home a decent wage – oh no!  It is more like a kitchen in a Halls of Residence during Fresher’s week!  I have taken to keeping my milk in an Avent baby bottle just so no one nicks any!  One of my colleagues doesn’t even keep him milk in the fridge – he brings in exactly what he needs for his 4 cups of tea and keeps it in his desk drawer so no one nicks it!  What is the world coming to where we have to resort to this sort of fun and games just to make sure we have enough milk for our coffee?
  • There is the noise… and I don’t mean the general hubbub of murmured conversation generated by working in an open plan office, I mean people full on bellowing at one another about their weekend (“oh it was fab-u-lous dahling”).  Laughing like hyenas and making a real drama out of making coffee!  It often sounds like a children’s party is going on.  Then there are the people that haven’t been organised enough to actually book a room for their meeting and have their meeting in the breakout area.  I can play meeting bingo all day listening to phrases like “push the envelope”, “think outside the box” and “get our ducks in a row”….

All I can say it thank heavens for part-time working, the quiet, serene sanctuary of the test lab, and earphones!  I feel better now – thanks for listening…..

I’m off to make a coffee (and clean up a spill, remove whatever it is that STINKS in the fridge and tut loudly because there are coffee grounds in the sink again!)

Friday, 20 September 2013

What a happy day!

Yesterday was a LOVELY day....

I shopped - well weekly food shopping - but I go with Mum and we have a natter and a giggle and it makes it somehow more social.  Barbara our FAVE checkout lady wasn't there as she had the day off.  but if you are ever in the vicinity of Sainsbury's at Hedge End, seek out Barbara on the tills - she is a legend!

In the afternoon I had a cuppa and thought about crochet...

Then the Wilburbeast and I went to buy wool (in our local Post Office no less...!) and stopped for a coffee and cake.  I had a Chocolate Orange Mocha Latte - scrummy....!  (oh and TOTALLY free on SW - NOT!)

Then, when the rain had mostly stopped we decided a spot of puddlejumping was in order!  So it was on with the wellies and out to find BIG puddles..... 

This puddle on our driveway just didn't cut it for the Wilburbeast, luckily there were bigger puddles to be had around the corner.  Lots of screaming, running, jumping, laughing and one VERY wet pair of jeans later we got home in time for Miss Bags to arrive home after Art & Crafts Club with her fantastic name bunting she had made.

After feeding time at the zoo, and bedtime.... I spent the evening attempting to crochet wrist warmers from Attic 24..... Mine don't look as good as hers but it is early days yet....  I also enjoyed a spot of red wine with Crummy Hubby.  Lovely....

I am a very happy Crummy Mummy...... x

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Don't touch the hair!

Yesterday the Wilburbeast reached that milestone that all mummies of little boys dread. 

The First Haircut.  
The Cutting Off Of The Baby Hair. 
The Shearing Of The Baby Curls.
Call it what you will, and I know it applies to girls as well, and I KNOW some mothers HAVE to cut their precious wee one's hair early on but it's a rite of passage that I was not looking forward to....
The Wilburbeast is 2 years and 4 months old.  He had beautiful, soft blond baby curls, that curled around his ears and and well over his collar.  His wispy fringe was in his eyes..... and he was mistaken for a girl.  Twice.  In the same hour!  (Yep, in a T-Shirt with his NAME emblazoned on it FGS!)  Well, that was the last straw especially as Crummy Hubby has been on at me for well over a year to get the Wilburbeast's hair cut, even threatening to take him himself!

With a family photoshoot looming on the horizon, and after the girl incident I realised I needed to man-up about the hair cutting business.

Luckily I have a fab, brilliant and VERY understanding friend, Emily.  She mentioned she was taking her girls to get their hair cut before aforementioned photoshoot, and would we like to join them.  Miss Bags had her first haircut with Emily and her girls too so it seemed fitting.

The hairdressers we go to is called Cuts n Clobber and it is BRILLIANT.  They have cars and bikes and big girl/boy seats for the children to sit in with DVD players and TVs at every seat so the children can watch Peppa, Fireman Sam or whatever takes their fancy while they get their hair cut.  Did I mention the clips, sparkle spray and biscuits???  Brilliant.

We arrived and settled in to watch 4 children get their hair cut. The Wilburbeast didn't seem overly concerned until it actually came to his turn.  He cried, he struggled and he yelled.  Then we realied he didn't want to wear the gown..... Clearly a bit TOO girlie!  The hairdresser was excellent, despite his wriggling, and his constant twisting round to see what Miss Bags was up to she gave him a beautful haircut.  They collected up all of his beautiful curls, took his picture and give me a certificate for posterity.

My baby boy (for they are BOTH my babies) still has, I am pleased to report, beautiful, soft blond baby hair, with just a wee hint of a curl!

This morning when we got up and I attempted to brush his hair he said "No Mummy, don't touch the hair!" 

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Pesto and Goat's Cheese

So, we went out for dinner over the weekend.  I had fancied a wee bite at Prezzo…. But Miss Bags wanted to take Granny and Grumpy to Frankie and Benny’s as it is her current favourite restaurant.

We took a wee stroll from our house, to the shops and had a bit of a wander.  Picked up a few Christmas pressies (yes I know!  ALREADY!) Miss Bags had a Raspberry Slushie and The Wilburbeast had a mint choc chip ice-cream  I think the ice-cream found most of its way into Crummy Hubby’s belly tho!

At F&B’s we perused the menu, of course there was wine.  We had a nice drop of Frascati!  I chose the Californian pizza, which has pesto and goats cheese on it.  The Wilburbeast had fishfingers and chips, and Granny had a ham and pineapple pizza.  I could tell you what everyone else had too but it’s not really integral to the story and I don’t wish to bore you!  Also I’m not writing a restaurant review! 

The Wilburbeast spies my pizza and decides it looks better than his fishfingers.  Which I must add I have lovingly cut up in to bite-size pieces…..  I offer him a fishfinger – “NO!” he says, then says “Some, me, some?” pointing at my plate.  Thinking I have chosen the most child unfriendly item on the menu, and he won’t POSSIBLY like it, I offer him a slice.  

He opens wide (seriously the boy has a big mouth!), and takes a huge bite, goats cheese, pesto and all.  I brace myself, waiting for the avalanche of half chewed pizza to appear on the table as his two-year old palate decides that goat’s cheese and pesto is not for him.  Not so, he chewed, he swallowed, he smiled.  “More please! S’nice!”  After that he decided that my pizza was definitely the way forward.  Sensing I was condemned to a meal of cutted up fish-fingers and broccoli, Granny attempted to offer him some of her Ham and Pineapple pizza.  Before she even got it within range, “NO!, THIS ONE” he shouts indignantly (no concept of an indoor voice) and points at my plate.

Despite the pillaging of my pizza and a slight mishap involving a huge glass of wine, my wild gesticulating and Granny’s trousers,  a good time was had by all, and what a lovely late summer (I’m clinging on to all hope even though it is distinctly Autumnal here) evening to walk home.  

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Where did 2013 go!?!

I cannot believe that I have not blogged for  8 months….. EIGHT WHOLE MONTHS.  I can practically grow a whole person in that time!
Here’s a whistle stop tour of events in the Crummy household….
·         Miss Bags continued in Year R at school and LOVED it!
·         The Wilburbeast is in a big bed
·         Our extension is complete
·         We had a leak, a hole in the ceiling, and now our downstairs is all decorated and bee-yoo-ti-ful – thanks to our Home Insurance!
·         I’m still out of my Slimming World Target range and really need to stop eating!
·         We had a great holiday in Spain again – no poo on the plane this time – but plenty of Trunki Racing at the airport!
·         I was GLUED to Airport Live on the BBC – so proud to work for NATS
·         We had a trip to Legoland and a great time was had by all
And now…. the summer is over, so glad the weather was great!  It’s back to school tomorrow for Miss Bags.  She will be resplendent in her new clean uniform and it will last all of two weeks when once again, I shall be despairing of ever removing any stains ever again from her uniform!